From Jacob Duché, Jr. (unpublished)
I return your Excellency my most sincere and hearty Thanks for
your Kindness and Condescension in answering my Letter, and for
the candid and affectionate Manner in which you have given me your
Advice on a Subject in which I feel myself deeptly interested.
This Advice shall be the Rule of my Conduct; and I will wait with
Patience, till I hear from my Friends at Philada, to many of whom
I have written within these few Days, by different Conveyances.
I must beg Leave to set your Excellency right with Respect to
the Sentiments of my Congregations relative to my Departure. I
left Philada. with their full Knowledge and Approbation. I did it
in the most Public Manner, having called my Vestry, and acquainted
them with my Motives for taking a Voyage to England, not doubting
at that Time, but that a Plan of Reconciliation would have taken
Place and I should have been able to return to them in a few
Months. I take the Liberty of enclosing a Copy of their Address to
me on that Occasion.
The Vestry consist of 20 Gentlemen, the far greater Part of whom
remained in the City with the British Army, were present at this
Meeting, and signed this Address, as well as an affectionate
Letter in my Favour to the Bishop of London, both of which stand
entered in their Book of Minutes. I cannot, therefore, be said, to
have deserted my Flock: But have every Reason to conclude, that if
my Return depended on the Approbation of the Congregations, they,
with their present good and friendly Rector, would immediately
express their Desire of receiving me.
The whole must depend upon the Generosity of the Legislature;
And I have the Satisfaction to hear, that several of my most
intimate and valuable Friends are at this Time high in Office, and
have no Doubt, but they will sollicit Government in my Favour. I
have written particularly to Mr. Dickinson, and to Mr. Rob.
Morris; and have also take the Liberty of addressing a few Lines
to General Washington.
I should be happy indeed to have my Application honoured with
the Sanction of your Excellency’s Name; as I am very sure, that
your Recommendation of my Case to the Notice of the Legislature by
a Letter to their President, or by any other Method you may judge
most proper, would add such weight to the Sollicitations of my
Friends, as would secure immediate Success.
But I will not presume too far, I know, your Engagements must be
numerous, and of the greatest Importance, and that you have
various Applications to attend to, of much greater Consequence
than mine.
Mrs. Duchè is much obliged to you for your Kind Remembrance of
her, and Answer to her Inquiries after Mrs. Bache and her
Children. We shall both be extremely happy to see you in England.
My Son, who is now in his 20th Year is a Pupil of my good Friend
West, and most enthusiasticcally devoted to the Art, in which he
promises to make no inconsiderable Figure. As he is my only Son
and a good Scholar, I wished to have educated him for one of the
learned Professions. But his Passion for Painting is irresistible.
West feeds the Flame with the Fuel of Applause: And his great
Example has excited in my Boy an Ambition to distinguish himself
in his Native Country, as his Master has distinguished himself
here. The late Revolution has opened a large Field for Design. His
young Mind already teems with the great Subjects of Councils,
Senates, Heroes, Battles—and he is impatient to acquire the Magic
Powers of the Pencil to call forth and compleat the Embryo Terms.
My eldest Daughter is in her 16th Year—my youngest in her 9th.
We have not been able to give them any other Advantages of
Education, than our own Private Tuition. Indeed the Plan of Female
Education in this Country is too expensive for our present
contracted Circumstances; and at the same Time, has too much of
the Ornamental, and too little of the Essential, to meet my Ideas
or Inclinations.
I beg your Excellency to bear with this little Prattle about my
Family—And have only to request the favour of yours to peruse at
your Leisure the enclosed Extract from my Letter to Mr. Hopkinson
which will give you some Information with Respect to the State of
Mind I was in, when I wrote the Letter to General W. the
Circumstances which attended the sending of it, and the
Consequences to myself and Family. I have the Honour to be, With
the greatest Respect Your Excellency’s Most obliged and faithful
Servant
Philadelphia Decr. 9, 1777.
Extract from a Letter to F. H. Esqr
My Country can have nothing to charge me with but a single
Letter, avowedly written under the strongest Apprehensions of
inevitable Danger impending over all my dearest Friends without
the British Lines—written, not to encourage Treachery, or persuade
a Commander to betray his Trust and ruin his Country; but to take
every regular Step with Congress to prevail on them to rescind an
Act, which I conceived (erroneous as my Judgment was) the only Bar
to full Reconciliation—And, if these Steps should fail, not meanly
to give up the great Cause of Liberty, or treacherously surrender
his Army; but at the Head of them, supporting and supported by
them, to negociate for the full and compleat Restitution of just
and Constitutional Rights.
The Idea had for Months been impressed on my Mind and did not,
as hath been ungenerously said, take its Rise from Timidity, with
Respect to my Person and Family, or from any Influence of British
Connections; but was the serious Result of what I then deemed Duty
and Affection. It was communicated but to one Person (Mr. Warren)
and to him for no other Person, than to secure a safe Conveyance
thro’ the British Lines. This he accomplised by getting a Pass
from Lord Cornwallis who was then Commanding Officer at Philada
for our Friend Mrs. Ferguson, acquainting his Lordship, that the
Contents of the Letter were of a conciliatory Nature from me to
Genl. Wa— Mrs. Ferguson (Miss Greeme that was) knew nothing of
the Contents. Not a single Person had the least Knowledge or
Suspicion but those I have mentioned. And I never spoke to or saw
Lord Cornwallis but once in my Life and that was, a few Days
before I embarked for England to ask his Permission to sail in the
Brilliant, which he had it not in his Power to grant. The Letter,
therefore, could never have been seen by the Public Eye, had it
not been sent to Congress, and Copies given out by some of their
own Members by which means, a very incorrect one was sent to N.
York and printed in Rivington’s Paper. This Paper was handed about
in the British Army at Philada, and put me under the Necessity of
leaving a correct Copy, with a Gentleman of our Acquaintance who
inserted it in the Evening Post soon after I embarked. This was
the only Copy, that ever went out of my Hands.
I do solemnly declare, that so great was my Ignorance and
implicity, when I delivered the Letter to Mrs. Ferguson, and
accompanied it with a Note to the General, requesting him to
destroy it, if it did not meet with his Approbation, that I had
not the least Idea of the Possibility of its being ever made
Public. And when she wrote a particular Account of the Manner in
which it was received, and the General’s Declaration, that he was
sorry I wrote, and that he would not answer it, I took it for
granted, that it was thrown into the Mire, and that this would be
the End of it.
Judge, therefore, of my Astonishment and Confusion, when I heard
in a few Days, that it was talked of throughout the whole American
Army, and that Copies of it had been dispersed; and a very little
time afterwards saw it myself in the N. York-Paper.
I have not, however, the least Charge to make against any Person
for Breach of Confidence. My Ignorance led me into the Mistake,
and I did not see the Necessity, as I now do, of the Letter being
divulged.
This conspiring with other Reasons of a private Nature (the
uneasy State of Mind I had been in for a Twelvemonth) made me
hasten my Departure from Philada, in full Expectation, that
Matters would certainly be settled on some conciliatory Plan, so
as to enable me to return early in the Spring of 1778.
I embarked Decr. 12, 1777. My Sufferings on my Voyage from the
Severity of Storms, the continual Leakiness of the Ship, the sad
Accident of striking against another Ship of three times our Bulk
in the Night, (in Consequence of which we were obliged to bear
away to the West Indies) my long Sickness in the Island of
Antigua, and tedious Passage from thence to England, where I did
not arrive till July 1778 you have already been made particularly
acquainted with.
The first disagreeable Intelligence that met me on my Arrival in
England, was that of an Act of Attainder being passed against me
and others by the State of Pennsylvania. This unexpected stroke
raised such Emotions in my Breast, as I must declare I was a
Stranger to before, having never thro Life felt the smallest
Degree of Resentment against any Individual whatever. These
feelings were heightened by the Slight, which was shewn to my dear
Family by some, and the Insults of others, which ended in the
cruel Act of turning them out of my House, taking an Inventory of
my Furniture in a very indelicate Manner before their Faces,
exposing my Goods, and afterwards my House to Public Sale. (I have
since learned, that all this was done by some of the lowest and
basest of the Inhabitants, all of them Foreigners, not one Native
Inhabitant appearing—but to express their Indignation at the
Sale—Not one sober reputable Citizen would purchase a single
Article).
The Contrast betwixt my past and present Situation must have
overwhelmed me, had I not been powerfully supported by those
Internal Hopes and Consolations, which I had long before, but
never so deeply experienced.
The happy Arrival of my dear Family in June 1780 began to sooth
my Disquietude, and reconciled me by Degrees to take up my Rest
for Life on this Side the Atlantic. It called me forth into active
Life, from which I had retired, from the time I set my Foot in
Britain—and Providence, blessing my Exertions in the Line of my
Profession, led me from one Step to another, to the real Asylum I
now possess.
When a silent Wish to return to the Arms of my Relations and
Friends stole, as was frequently the Case, into my Breast, it was
soon checked by the Recollection of unkind Treatment that had
been, and might still be shewn to me and mine. I shrunk from the
Prospect, and thanked God for his present gracious Allotment, to
which I strove not only to be reconciled, but to enjoy, with Ease
and Chearfulness.
Amidst a Circle of literary and religious Friends, of refined
Taste, of elegant Manners, of Rank in Life, and Affluence of
Fortune, surely, have I frequently said to myself, I may be happy,
if Happiness is to be found in any External Circumstances. I am
beloved and caressed by such as I always wished to associate with.
They are tender and affectionate, and fly to serve me in Sickness
and in Health of the good things of Life, I have quite enough to
prevent Care and Anxiety for the Morrow—Why not feel myself at
Home? Why not be satisfied with this as my last Stage on the Road
to Heaven? I have long since done with the World—Its Wealth, its
Honours, its Amusements, have long appeared to me childish and
ridiculous! Why launch into new Dangers, from Sea and Land, from
the Uncertainty and Caprice of Men? Why seek to regain a former
Happiness, by the Sacrifice of the present?
Such a Conflict as this hath frequently been encited in my
Breast, betwixt my ardent Desire of returning to my Native
Country, and the Prudential Thought of remaining quiet and
contented here.
Thank God! All is now settled into a Perfect Calm. I feel myself
resigned to continue here or return to America, as Providence may
order the future Course of Events. I think it my Duty to offer my
Affections to my First Love. I think it my Duty to give my
Congregations an Assurance that I am willing to resume my Labours
among them, if all Circumstances should conspire to render it
agreeable to them and their present Rector, whom I esteem and
love, and with whose Settlement I have no Wish in the least to
interfere. I think it my Duty to offer my Allegiance to the State
of Pennsylvania, in Case an Act of Release from the Attainder can
be obtained.
In making these offers, I am ready to sacrifice present Comforts
and future Prospects in this Country. I am ready to part with dear
and valuable Friends, and embark with my Family once more upon the
Ocean, whose Element, since my late Sufferings, appears to me more
tremendous than ever. In doing this, I acquit myself of all I owe
to my Family and Friends, to my Country and to myself. And upon
this Ground I have written to my dear aged Father, to make such
application to those in Authority, as he and my Friends together
may think proper and necessary in my Behalf. To this Letter I
refer you, and beg you to give him all the Assistance in your
Power. Add to this, that I shall expect from you and the Rest of
my Friends, a fair, candid and impartial presentation of the
Temper and Disposition of my Countrymen in General with Respect to
me. Conceal nothing that is true however painful it may be to me
to hear. For however delighted I might be to find myself once more
in the Circle of my Particular Friends and Relations, I could
never think myself happy, should I be exposed to the Disrespect
and Unkindness of Others.
The Address of the Church-Wardens and Vestry-Men of the United
Churches of Christ-Church and St. Peter’s Church, in the City of
Philada. to the Reverend Jacob Duché, Rector of the said Churches.
Rev. Sir