I often Recolect the Advice you wonce gave won of my sons to do the right thing with spirit and not to spend time in makeing Excuses for not doing it and I ought to have profited by it, but I have so long delayed writing to you that I am hardly capable of makeing any Excuse at all, and now have no time to Atempt it. I have Removed From Cambridge with my Son in Law Collas and his wife and Live in your House at the North End and Mr. Collas being Absent seldom see any won to Inform us How the world goes, am now at Cousen Williams where I am Informed a Ship is to sail this Day with a Gentleman in it who goes Directly to you, I can’t Remember Ither His Name or office by which you will see what a confused State my mind is in for I Just Heard it below, I am often Afflicted with great Dizenes and Expect or fear if I live much Longer to be in such Circumstances as Dean Swift was, If it Pleases God to hear my Prayer Death will be much Preferable, but who am I to Prescribe to the Allmighty the Anguish of mind I have undergone on your account Since I heard of the Greveous malady you are Exercised with has made me consider which which [sic] of the two cases I should Prefer and I think yours bad as it is, dont think by this that I dont feal all for you that the Intimate knolige of such cases, all the Tenderness and Affection that is Due to won who has been as a Father, Husband, and all ways the best of Brothers deserves, but your Retaining your Intlectual Faculties and such Fortitude to bare up under it must be Preferable to a sensles stupidetie.

But O that After you have spent your whol Life in the service of the Publick and have Atained so Glorious A conclution as I thought   would now Permit you to Come home and spend (as you used to say) the Evening with you Friends in Ease and Quiet, that now such a dreadfull malady should Atack you; My Heart is Reddy to burst with Greaf at the thought.

How many Hours have I Laid awake on nights thinking what Excruciating Pains you might then be Incountering while I a Poor useless, and worthles worm, was Premitted to be at Ease; oh that it was In my Power to mitigate or Aleviate the Anguish I know you must Endure. I have been Flattered all the spring and summer that you were coming home, I know your wisdom will direct to Emprove all circumstances that will be most comodious for the desiered End but I fear if you take ship for Philadelphia I shall never see you, traveling will be so Incomodous to you that when you are got hom you will not Prevail with your self to see New England but If you come hear first you can go mostly if not Altogather by water as you know and it may not Be so trying to you. God grant I may see you again hear but if not that we may spend an happy Eternity togather In His Presence.

Mr. Williams has tould me he has Informed you Perticularly about my Affairs but I did not think that would Jestifie me in not writing my self but I have now nither Leters nor Papers nor time to say any thing more than that I am your most obliged and affectionat Sister