The Busy-Body, No. 8
One of the greatest Pleasures an Author can have is certainly
the Hearing his Works applauded. The hiding from the World our
Names while we publish our Thoughts, is so absolutely necessary to
this Self-Gratification, that I hope my Well-wishers will
congratulate me on my Escape from the many diligent, but fruitless
Enquiries that have of late been made after me. Every Man will own,
That an Author, as such, ought to be try’d by the Merit of his
Productions only; but Pride, Party, and Prejudice at this Time run
so very high, that Experience shews we form our Notions of a Piece
by the Character of the Author. Nay there are some very humble
Politicians in and about this City, who will ask on which Side the
Writer is, before they presume to give their Opinion of the Thing
wrote. This ungenerous Way of Proceeding I was well aware of before
I publish’d my first Speculation; and therefore concealed my Name.
And I appeal to the more generous Part of the World, if I have
since I appear’d in the Character of the Busy-Body given an
Instance of my siding with any Party more than another, in the
unhappy Divisions of my Country; and I have above all, this
Satisfaction in my Self, That neither Affection, Aversion or
Interest, have byass’d me to use any Partiality towards any Man, or
Sett of Men; but whatsoever I find nonsensically ridiculous, or
immorally dishonest, I have, and shall continue openly to attack
with the Freedom of an honest Man, and a Lover of my Country.
I profess I can hardly contain my Self, or
preserve the Gravity and Dignity that should attend the
Censorial-Office, when I hear the odd and unaccountable
Expositions that are put upon some of my Works, thro’ the malicious
Ignorance of some, and the vain Pride of more than ordinary
Penetration in others; one Instance of which many of my Readers are
acquainted with. A certain Gentleman has taken a great Deal of
Pains to write a Key to the Letter in my
No. 4. wherein he has ingeniously converted a gentle Satyr
upon tedious and impertinent Visitants into a Libel on some in the
Government: This I mention only as a Specimen of the Taste of the
Gentlemen, I am forsooth, bound to please in my Speculations, not
that I suppose my Impartiality will ever be called in Question upon
that Account. Injustices of this Nature I could complain of in many
Instancies; but I am at present diverted by the Reception of a
Letter, which tho’ it regards me only in my Private Capacity, as an
Adept, yet I venture to publish it for the Entertainment of my
Readers.
“To Censor Morum, Esq; Busy-Body General of the Province of
Pennsylvania, and the Counties of Newcastle, Kent, and Sussex, upon
Delaware.
“I judge by your Lucubrations, that you are not
only a Lover of Truth and Equity, but a Man of Parts and Learning,
and a Master of Science; as such I honour you. Know then, Most
profound Sir, that I have from my Youth up, been a very
indefatigable Student in, and Admirer of that Divine Science,
Astrology. I have read over Scot, Albertus Magnus, and
Cornelius Agrippa above 300 Times; and was in hopes by my Knowledge
and Industry, to gain enough to have recompenced me for my Money
expended, and Time lost in the Pursuit of this Learning. You cannot
be ignorant, Sir, (for your intimate Second sighted
Correspondent knows all Things) that there are large Sums of Money
hidden under Ground in divers Places about this Town, and in many
Parts of the Country; But alas, Sir, Notwithstanding I have used
all the Means laid down in the immortal Authors
before-mentioned, and when they fail’d, the ingenious Mr. P—d—l
with his Mercurial Wand and Magnet, I have still
fail’d in my Purpose. This therefore I send to Propose and desire
an Acquaintance with you, and I do not doubt, notwithstanding my
repeated Ill-Fortune, but we may be exceedingly serviceable to each
other in our Discoveries; and that if we use our united Endeavours,
the Time will come when the Busy-Body, his Second-sighted
Correspondent, and your very humble Servant, will be
Three of the richest Men in the Province: And then, Sir, what may
not we do? A Word to the Wise is sufficient. I conclude with
all demonstrable Respect, Yours, and Urania’s Votary,
In the Evening after I had received this
Letter, I made a Visit to my Second-sighted Friend, and
communicated to him the Proposal. When he had read it, he assur’d
me, that to his certain Knowledge there is not at this Time so much
as one Ounce of Silver or Gold hid under Ground in any Part of this
Province, For that the late and present Scarcity of Money had
obliged those who were living, and knew where they had formerly hid
any, to take it up, and use it in their own necessary Affairs: And
as to all the Rest which was buried by Pyrates and others in old
Times, who were never like to come for it, he himself had long
since dug it all up and applied it to charitable Uses, And this he
desired me to publish for general Good. For, as he acquainted me,
There are among us great Numbers of honest Artificers and labouring
People, who fed with a vain Hope of growing suddenly rich, neglect
their Business, almost to the ruining of themselves and Families,
and voluntarily endure abundance of Fatigue in a fruitless Search
after Imaginary hidden Treasure. They wander thro’ the Woods and
Bushes by Day, to discover the Marks and Signs; at Midnight they
repair to the hopeful Spot with Spades and Pickaxes; full of
Expectation they labour violently, trembling at the same Time in
every Joint, thro’ Fear of certain malicious Demons who are said to
haunt and guard such Places. At length a mighty hole is dug, and
perhaps several Cartloads of Earth thrown out, but alas, no Cag or
Iron Pot is found! no Seaman’s Chest cram’d with Spanish Pistoles,
or weighty Pieces of Eight! Then they conclude, that thro’ some
Mistake in the Procedure, some rash Word spoke, or some Rule of Art
neglected, the Guardian Spirit had Power to sink it deeper into the
Earth and convey it out of their Reach. Yet when a Man is once thus
infatuated, he is so far from being discouraged by ill Success,
that he is rather animated to double his Industry, and will try
again and again in a Hundred Different Places, in Hopes at last of
meeting with some lucky Hit, that shall at once Sufficiently reward
him for all his Expence of Time and Labour.
This odd Humour of Digging for Money thro’ a
Belief that much has been hid by Pirates formerly frequenting the
River, has for several Years been mighty prevalent among us;
insomuch that you can hardly walk half a Mile out of Town on any
Side, without observing several Pits dug with that Design, and
perhaps some lately opened. Men, otherwise of very good Sense, have
been drawn into this Practice thro’ an over weening Desire of
sudden Wealth, and an easy Credulity of what they so earnestly
wish’d might be true. While the rational and almost certain Methods
of acquiring Riches by Industry and Frugality are neglected or
forgotten. There seems to be some peculiar Charm in the conceit of
finding Money; and if the Sands of Schuylkil were so much
mixed with small Grains of Gold, that a Man might in a Day’s Time
with Care and Application get together to the Value of half a
Crown, I make no Question but we should find several People
employ’d there, that can with Ease earn Five Shillings a Day at
their proper Trades.
Many are the idle Stories told of the private
Success of some People, by which others are encouraged to proceed;
and the Astrologers, with whom the Country swarms at this Time, are
either in the Belief of these things themselves, or find their
Advantage in persuading others to believe them; for they are often
consulted about the critical Times for Digging, the Methods of
laying the Spirit, and the like Whimseys, which renders them very
necessary to and very much caress’d by the poor deluded
Money-hunters.
There is certainly something very bewitching in
the Pursuit after Mines of Gold and Silver, and other valuable
Metals; And many have been ruined by it. A Sea Captain of my
Acquaintance used to blame the English for envying Spain their
Mines of Silver; and too much despising or overlooking the
Advantages of their own Industry and Manufactures. For my Part,
says he, I esteem the Banks of Newfoundland to be a more valuable
Possession than the Mountains of Potosi; and when I have been there
on the Fishing Account, have look’d upon every Cod pull’d up into
the Vessel as a certain Quantity of Silver Ore, which required only
carrying to the next Spanish Port to be coin’d into Pieces of
Eight; not to mention the National Profit of fitting out and
Employing such a Number of Ships and Seamen. Let honest Peter
Buckrum, who has long without Success been a Searcher after hidden
Money, reflect on this, and be reclaimed from that unaccountable
Folly. Let him consider that every Stitch he takes when he is on
his Shop-board, is picking up part of a Grain of Gold that will in
a few Days Time amount to a Pistole; And let Faber think the same
of every Nail he drives, or every Stroke with his Plain. Such
Thoughts may make them industrious, and of consequence in Time they
may be Wealthy. But how absurd is it to neglect a certain Profit
for such a ridiculous Whimsey: To spend whole Days at the George,
in company with an idle Pretender to Astrology, contriving Schemes
to discover what was never hidden, and forgetful how carelessly
Business is managed at Home in their Absence: To leave their Wives
and a warm Bed at Midnight (no matter if it rain, hail, snow or
blow a Hurricane, provided that be the critical Hour) and fatigue
themselves with the Violent Exercise of Digging for what they shall
never find, and perhaps getting a Cold that may cost their Lives,
or at least disordering themselves so as to be fit for no Business
beside for some Days after. Surely this is nothing less than the
most egregious Folly and Madness.
I shall conclude with the Words of my discreet
Friend Agricola, of Chester-County, when he gave his Son a Good
Plantation, My Son, says he, I give thee now a
Valuable Parcel of Land; I assure thee I have found a
considerable Quantity of Gold by Digging there; Thee mayst
do the same. But thee must carefully observe this. Never to
dig more than Plow-deep.