A Letter From Father Abraham to His Beloved Son
Printed in The New-England Magazine, I, no. 1 (August 1758),
20-8.
A Letter from Father Abraham, to his
beloved Son.
[August, 1758]
Dear Isaac,
You frequently desire me to give you some
Advice, in Writing. There is, perhaps, no other valuable
Thing in the World, of which so great a Quantity is given,
and so little taken. Men do not generally err in their
Conduct so much through Ignorance of their Duty, as through
Inattention to their own Faults, or through strong Passions and bad
Habits; and, therefore, till that Inattention is cured, or those
Passions reduced under the Government of Reason, Advice is
rather resented as a Reproach, than gratefully acknowledged and
followed.
Supposing then, that from the many good Sermons
you have heard, good Books read, and good Admonitions received from
your Parents and others, your Conscience is by this Time pretty
well informed, and capable of advising you, if you attentively
listen to it, I shall not fill this Letter with Lessons or Precepts
of Morality and Religion; but rather recommend to you, that in
order to obtain a clear Sight and constant Sense of
your Errors, you would set apart a Portion of every Day for the
Purpose of Self-Examination, and trying your daily Actions
by that Rule of Rectitude implanted by God
in your Breast. The properest Time for this, is when you are
retiring to Rest; then carefully review the Transactions of the
past Day; and consider how far they have agreed with what you
know of your Duty to God and to Man, in the several Relations
you stand in of a Subject to the Government, Servant to your
Master, a Son, a Neighbour, a Friend, &c. When, by this Means,
you have discovered the Faults of the Day, acknowledge them to God,
and humbly beg of him not only Pardon for what is past, but
Strength to fulfil your solemn Resolutions of guarding against them
for the Future. Observing this Course steadily for some Time, you
will find (through God’s Grace assisting) that your Faults are
continually diminishing, and your Stock of Virtue encreasing; in
Consequence of which you will grow in Favour both with God and Man.
I repeat it, that for the Acquirement of solid,
uniform, steady Virtue, nothing contributes more, than a daily
strict Self-Examination, by the Lights of
Reason, Conscience, and the Word of God;
joined with firm Resolutions of amending what you find amiss, and
fervent Prayer for Grace and Strength to execute those Resolutions.
This Method is very antient. ’Twas recommended by Pythagoras, in
his truly Golden Verses, and practised since in every Age,
with Success, by Men of all Religions. Those golden Verses, as
translated by Rowe, are well worth your Reading, and even getting
by Heart. The Part relating to this Matter I have transcribed, to
give you a Taste of them, viz.
Let not the stealing God of Sleep surprize,
Nor creep in Slumbers on thy weary Eyes,
Ere ev’ry Action of the former Day,
Strictly thou dost, and righteously survey.
With Rev’rence at thy own Tribunal stand,
And answer justly to thy own Demand.
Where have I been? In what have I transgrest?
What Good or Ill has this Day’s Life exprest?
Where have I fail’d in what I ought to do?
In what to God, to Man, or to myself I
owe?
Inquire severe whate’er from first to last,
From Morning’s Dawn till Ev’nings Gloom has past.
If Evil were thy Deeds, repenting mourn,
And let thy Soul with strong Remorse be torn:
If Good, the Good with Peace of Mind repay,
And to thy secret Self with Pleasure say,
Rejoice, my Heart, for all went well to Day.
And that no Passage to your Improvement in
Virtue may be kept secret, it is not sufficient that you make Use
of Self-Examination alone; therefore I have also added a
golden Extract from a favourite Old
Book, to instruct you in the prudent and deliberate Choice
of some disinterested Friend, to remind you of such Misconduct as
must necessarily escape your severest Inquiry: Which is as
follows;
Every prudent Man ought to be jealous and
fearful of himself, lest he run away too hastily with a Likelihood
instead of Truth; and abound too much in his own Understanding. All
Conditions are equal, that is, Men may be contented in every
Condition: For Security is equal to Splendor; Health to Pleasure,
&c. Every Condition of Life has its Enemies, for Deus posuit
duo et duo, unum contra unum. A rich Man hath Enemies
sometimes for no other Reason than because he is rich; the poor Man
hath as poor Neighbours, or rich Ones that gape after that small
Profit which he enjoys. The Poor very often subsist merely by
Knavery and Rapine among each other. Beware, therefore, how you
offend any Man, for he that is displeased at your Words or Actions,
commonly joins against you, without putting the best
Construction on (or endeavouring to find out a reasonable Excuse
for) them. And be sure you hate no Man, though you think him
a worthless or unjust Person. Never envy any one above you:
You have Enemies enough by the common Course of Human Nature; be
cautious not to encrease the Number; and rather procure as many
Friends as you can, to countenance and strengthen you. Every Man
has also an Enemy within himself. Every Man is choleric and
covetous, or gentle and generous by Nature. Man is naturally a
beneficent Creature: But there are many external Objects and
Accidents, met with as we go through Life, which seem to
make great Alterations in our natural Dispositions and Desires. A
Man naturally passionate and greedy, may, to all Appearance, become
complaisant and hospitable, merely by Force of Instruction and
Discipline; and so the Contrary. ’Tis in vain for a passionate Man
to say, I am pardonable because it is natural to me,
when we can perhaps point out to him an Example in his next
Neighbour, who was once affected in the very same Manner,
and could say as much to defend himself, who is now exceedingly
different in his Behaviour, and quite free from those
unhappy Affections which disturbed his Repose so often, not long
ago, and became a chearful, facetious, and profitable Companion to
his Friends, and a Pattern of Humility to all around him.
Nothing was ever well done or said in a
Passion. One Man’s Infirmities and bad Inclinations may be
harder to conquer than another Man’s, according to the various and
secret Circumstances that attend them; but they are all
capable of being conquered, or very much improved for the better,
except they have been suffered to take Root in Old Age; in this Case it is most convenient to
let them have their own Way, as the Phrase is.
The strongest of our natural Passions are
seldom perceived by us; a choleric Man does not always discover
when he is angry, nor an envious Man when he is invidious; at most
they think they commit no great Faults.
Therefore it is necessary that you should have
a Monitor. Most Men are very indifferent
Judges of themselves, and often think they do well when they sin;
and, imagine they commit only small Errors, when they are guilty of
Crimes. It is in Human Life as in the Arts and Sciences; their
Plainest Doctrines are easily comprehended, but the finest Points
cannot be discovered without the closest Attention; of these Parts
only the wise and skilful in the Art or Science, can be deemed
competent Judges. Many Vices and Follies resemble their opposite
Virtues and Prudence; they border upon, and seem to mix with each
other; and therefore the exact Line of Division betwixt them is
hard to ascertain. Pride resembles a generous Spirit; Superstition
and Enthusiasm frequently resemble true Religion; a laudable worthy
Ambition resembles an unworthy Self-Sufficiency; Government
resembles Tyranny; Liberty resembles Licentiousness; Subjection
resembles Slavery; Covetousness resembles Frugality; Prodigality
resembles Generosity; and so of the Rest. Prudence chiefly consists
in that Excellence of Judgement, which is capable of discerning the
Medium; or of acting so as not to
intermingle the one with the other; and in being able to assign to
every Cause its proper Actions and Effects. It is therefore
necessary for every Person who desires to be a wise Man, to take
particular Notice of his own
Actions, and of his own Thoughts
and Intentions which are the Original of his actions; with
great Care and Circumspection; otherwise he can never arrive to
that Degree of Perfection which constitutes the amiable Character
he aspires after. And, lest all this Diligence should be
insufficient, as Partiality to himself will certainly render it, it
is very requisite for him to chuse a Friend, or Monitor, who must be
allowed the greatest Freedom to advertise and remind him of his
Failings, and to point out Remedies. Such a One, I mean, as is a
discreet and virtuous Person; but especially One that does not
creep after the Acquaintance of, or play the Spaniel to,
great Men; One who does not covet Employments which are
known to be scandalous for Opportunities of Injustice: One who can
bridle his Tongue and curb his Wit; One that can converse with
himself, and industriously attends upon his own Affairs whatever
they be. Find out such a Man; insinuate yourself into a
Confidence with him; and desire him to observe your Conversation
and Behaviour; intreat him to admonish you of what he thinks amiss,
in a serious and friendly Manner; importune his Modesty till he
condescends to grant your Request. Do not imagine that you live one
Day without Faults, or that those Faults are undiscovered. Most Men
see that in another, which they can not or will not see in
themselves: And he is happiest, who through the whole Course of his
Life, can attain to a reasonable Freedom from Sin and Folly, even
by the Help of Old Age, that great Mortifier and
Extinguisher of our Lusts and Passions. If such a Monitor informs
you of any Misconduct, whether you know his Interpretations to be
true or false, take it not only patiently, but
thankfully; and be careful to reform. Thus you get and keep
a Friend, break the inordinate and mischievous Affection you bore
towards your Frailities, and advance yourself in Wisdom and Virtue.
When you consider that you must give an Account of your Actions to
your vigilant Reprover; that other Men see the same Imperfections
in you as he does; and that it is impossible for a good Man to
enjoy the Advantages of Friendship, except he first puts off those
Qualities which render him subject to Flattery, that is, except he
first cease to flatter himself. A good, a generous Christian
Minister, or worthy sensible Parents, may be suitable Persons for
such a difficult Office; difficult, though it should be performed
by familiar Conversation. And how much more meritorious of
Entertainment are People of such a Character, than those who come
to your Table to make Faces, talk Nonsense, devour your
Substance, censure their Neighbours, flatter and deride you?
Remember that if a Friend tells you of a Fault, always imagine that
he does not tell you the whole, which is commonly the Truth; for he
desires your Reformation, but is loth to offend you. And nunquam
sine querela aegra tanguntur.
I know, dear Son, Ambition fills your Mind,
And in Life’s Voyage, is th’ impelling Wind;
But, at the Helm, let sober Reason stand,
To steer the Bark with Heav’n directed Hand;
So shall you safe Ambition’s Gales receive,
And ride securely, though the Billows heave;
So shall you shun the giddy Hero’s Fate,
And by her Influence be both good and great.
She bids you first, in Life’s soft vernal Hours,
With active Industry wake Nature’s Pow’rs;
With rising Years still rising Arts display,
With new-born Graces mark each new-born Day.
’Tis now the Time young Passion to command,
While yet the pliant Stem obeys the Hand;
Guide now the Courser with a steady Rein,
E’er yet he bounds o’er Pleasure’s flowry Plain;
In Passion’s Strife no Medium you can have;
You rule, a Master; or submit, a Slave.
To conclude. You are just entering into the
World: Beware of the first Acts of Dishonesty: They present
themselves to the Mind under specious Disguises, and
plausible Reasons of Right and Equity: But being admitted,
they open the Way for admitting others, that are but a
little more dishonest, which are followed by others a
little more knavish than they, till by Degrees, however slow, a
Man becomes an habitual Sharper, and at length a
consummate Rascal and Villain. Then farewell all Peace of
Mind, and inward Satisfaction; all Esteem, Confidence, and
Reputation among Mankind. And indeed if outward Reputation
could be preserved, what Pleasure can it afford to a Man that must
inwardly despise himself, whose own Baseness will, in Spite
of his Endeavours to forget it, be ever presenting itself to his
View. If you have a Sir-Reverence in your Breeches, what
signifies it if you appear to Others neat and clean and
genteel, when you know and feel yourself to be bt. I
make no Apology for the Comparison, however coarse, since none can
be too much so for a defiled and foul Conscience. But never flatter
yourself with Concealment; ’tis impossible to last long. One
Man may be too cunning for another Man, but not for all Men:
Some Body or other will smell you out, or some Accident will
discover you; or who can be sure that he shall never be heard to
talk in his Sleep, or be delirious in a Fever, when the working
Mind usually throws out Hints of what has inwardly affected it? Of
this there have been many Instances; some of which are within the
Compass of your own Knowledge.
Whether you chuse to act in a public or a
private Station, if you would maintain the personal Character of a
Man of Sincerity, Integrity and Virtue, there is a Necessity of
becoming really good, if you would do good: For the
thin Disguises of pretended private Virtue and Public
Spirit, are easily seen through; the Hypocrite detected and
exposed. For this Reason then, My dear Isaac, as well as for many others, be sincere, candid,
honest, well-meaning, and upright, in all you do and say; be
really good, if you would appear so: Your Life then
shall give Strength to your Counsels; and though you should
be found but an indifferent Speaker or Writer, you
shall not be without Praise for the Benevolence of your
Intention.
But, again, suppose it possible for a Knave to
preserve a fair Character among Men, and even to approve his own
Actions, what is that to the Certainty of his being discovered and
detested by the all-seeing Eye of that righteous
Being, who made and governs the World,
whose just Hand never fails to do right and to punish Iniquity, and
whose Approbation, Favour, and Friendship, is worth the
Universe?
Heartily wishing you every Accomplishment that
can make a Man amiable and valuable, to HIS Protection I commit
you, being, with sincere Affection, dear Son, Your very
loving Father,
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