I return your Excellency my most sincere and hearty Thanks for your Kindness and Condescension in answering my Letter, and for the candid and affectionate Manner in which you have given me your Advice on a Subject in which I feel myself deeptly interested. This Advice shall be the Rule of my Conduct; and I will wait with Patience, till I hear from my Friends at Philada, to many of whom I have written within these few Days, by different Conveyances.

I must beg Leave to set your Excellency right with Respect to the Sentiments of my Congregations relative to my Departure. I left Philada. with their full Knowledge and Approbation. I did it in the most Public Manner, having called my Vestry, and acquainted them with my Motives for taking a Voyage to England, not doubting at that Time, but that a Plan of Reconciliation would have taken Place and I should have been able to return to them in a few Months. I take the Liberty of enclosing a Copy of their Address to me on that Occasion.

The Vestry consist of 20 Gentlemen, the far greater Part of whom remained in the City with the British Army, were present at this Meeting, and signed this Address, as well as an affectionate Letter in my Favour to the Bishop of London, both of which stand entered in their Book of Minutes. I cannot, therefore, be said, to have deserted my Flock: But have every Reason to conclude, that if my Return depended on the Approbation of the Congregations, they, with their present good and friendly Rector, would immediately express their Desire of receiving me.

The whole must depend upon the Generosity of the Legislature; And I have the Satisfaction to hear, that several of my most intimate and valuable Friends are at this Time high in Office, and have no Doubt, but they will sollicit Government in my Favour. I have written particularly to Mr. Dickinson, and to Mr. Rob. Morris; and have also take the Liberty of addressing a few Lines to General Washington.

I should be happy indeed to have my Application honoured with the Sanction of your Excellency’s Name; as I am very sure, that your Recommendation of my Case to the Notice of the Legislature by a Letter to their President, or by any other Method you may judge most proper, would add such weight to the Sollicitations of my Friends, as would secure immediate Success.

But I will not presume too far, I know, your Engagements must be numerous, and of the greatest Importance, and that you have various Applications to attend to, of much greater Consequence than mine.

Mrs. Duchè is much obliged to you for your Kind Remembrance of her, and Answer to her Inquiries after Mrs. Bache and her Children. We shall both be extremely happy to see you in England.

My Son, who is now in his 20th Year is a Pupil of my good Friend West, and most enthusiasticcally devoted to the Art, in which he promises to make no inconsiderable Figure. As he is my only Son and a good Scholar, I wished to have educated him for one of the learned Professions. But his Passion for Painting is irresistible. West feeds the Flame with the Fuel of Applause: And his great Example has excited in my Boy an Ambition to distinguish himself in his Native Country, as his Master has distinguished himself here. The late Revolution has opened a large Field for Design. His young Mind already teems with the great Subjects of Councils, Senates, Heroes, Battles—and he is impatient to acquire the Magic Powers of the Pencil to call forth and compleat the Embryo Terms.

My eldest Daughter is in her 16th Year—my youngest in her 9th. We have not been able to give them any other Advantages of Education, than our own Private Tuition. Indeed the Plan of Female Education in this Country is too expensive for our present contracted Circumstances; and at the same Time, has too much of the Ornamental, and too little of the Essential, to meet my Ideas or Inclinations.

I beg your Excellency to bear with this little Prattle about my Family—And have only to request the favour of yours to peruse at your Leisure the enclosed Extract from my Letter to Mr. Hopkinson which will give you some Information with Respect to the State of Mind I was in, when I wrote the Letter to General W. the Circumstances which attended the sending of it, and the Consequences to myself and Family. I have the Honour to be, With the greatest Respect Your Excellency’s Most obliged and faithful Servant

Extract from a Letter to F. H. Esqr

My Country can have nothing to charge me with but a single Letter, avowedly written under the strongest Apprehensions of inevitable Danger impending over all my dearest Friends without the British Lines—written, not to encourage Treachery, or persuade a Commander to betray his Trust and ruin his Country; but to take every regular Step with Congress to prevail on them to rescind an Act, which I conceived (erroneous as my Judgment was) the only Bar to full Reconciliation—And, if these Steps should fail, not meanly to give up the great Cause of Liberty, or treacherously surrender his Army; but at the Head of them, supporting and supported by them, to negociate for the full and compleat Restitution of just and Constitutional Rights.

The Idea had for Months been impressed on my Mind and did not, as hath been ungenerously said, take its Rise from Timidity, with Respect to my Person and Family, or from any Influence of British Connections; but was the serious Result of what I then deemed Duty and Affection. It was communicated but to one Person (Mr. Warren) and to him for no other Person, than to secure a safe Conveyance thro’ the British Lines. This he accomplised by getting a Pass from Lord Cornwallis who was then Commanding Officer at Philada for our Friend Mrs. Ferguson, acquainting his Lordship, that the Contents of the Letter were of a conciliatory Nature from me to Genl. Wa— Mrs. Ferguson (Miss Greeme that was) knew nothing of the Contents. Not a single Person had the least Knowledge or Suspicion but those I have mentioned. And I never spoke to or saw Lord Cornwallis but once in my Life and that was, a few Days before I embarked for England to ask his Permission to sail in the Brilliant, which he had it not in his Power to grant. The Letter, therefore, could never have been seen by the Public Eye, had it not been sent to Congress, and Copies given out by some of their own Members by which means, a very incorrect one was sent to N. York and printed in Rivington’s Paper. This Paper was handed about in the British Army at Philada, and put me under the Necessity of leaving a correct Copy, with a Gentleman of our Acquaintance who inserted it in the Evening Post soon after I embarked. This was the only Copy, that ever went out of my Hands.

I do solemnly declare, that so great was my Ignorance and implicity, when I delivered the Letter to Mrs. Ferguson, and accompanied it with a Note to the General, requesting him to destroy it, if it did not meet with his Approbation, that I had not the least Idea of the Possibility of its being ever made Public. And when she wrote a particular Account of the Manner in which it was received, and the General’s Declaration, that he was sorry I wrote, and that he would not answer it, I took it for granted, that it was thrown into the Mire, and that this would be the End of it.

Judge, therefore, of my Astonishment and Confusion, when I heard in a few Days, that it was talked of throughout the whole American Army, and that Copies of it had been dispersed; and a very little time afterwards saw it myself in the N. York-Paper.

I have not, however, the least Charge to make against any Person for Breach of Confidence. My Ignorance led me into the Mistake, and I did not see the Necessity, as I now do, of the Letter being divulged.

This conspiring with other Reasons of a private Nature (the uneasy State of Mind I had been in for a Twelvemonth) made me hasten my Departure from Philada, in full Expectation, that Matters would certainly be settled on some conciliatory Plan, so as to enable me to return early in the Spring of 1778.

I embarked Decr. 12, 1777. My Sufferings on my Voyage from the Severity of Storms, the continual Leakiness of the Ship, the sad Accident of striking against another Ship of three times our Bulk in the Night, (in Consequence of which we were obliged to bear away to the West Indies) my long Sickness in the Island of Antigua, and tedious Passage from thence to England, where I did not arrive till July 1778 you have already been made particularly acquainted with.

The first disagreeable Intelligence that met me on my Arrival in England, was that of an Act of Attainder being passed against me and others by the State of Pennsylvania. This unexpected stroke raised such Emotions in my Breast, as I must declare I was a Stranger to before, having never thro Life felt the smallest Degree of Resentment against any Individual whatever. These feelings were heightened by the Slight, which was shewn to my dear Family by some, and the Insults of others, which ended in the cruel Act of turning them out of my House, taking an Inventory of my Furniture in a very indelicate Manner before their Faces, exposing my Goods, and afterwards my House to Public Sale. (I have since learned, that all this was done by some of the lowest and basest of the Inhabitants, all of them Foreigners, not one Native Inhabitant appearing—but to express their Indignation at the Sale—Not one sober reputable Citizen would purchase a single Article).

The Contrast betwixt my past and present Situation must have overwhelmed me, had I not been powerfully supported by those Internal Hopes and Consolations, which I had long before, but never so deeply experienced.

The happy Arrival of my dear Family in June 1780 began to sooth my Disquietude, and reconciled me by Degrees to take up my Rest for Life on this Side the Atlantic. It called me forth into active Life, from which I had retired, from the time I set my Foot in Britain—and Providence, blessing my Exertions in the Line of my Profession, led me from one Step to another, to the real Asylum I now possess.

When a silent Wish to return to the Arms of my Relations and Friends stole, as was frequently the Case, into my Breast, it was soon checked by the Recollection of unkind Treatment that had been, and might still be shewn to me and mine. I shrunk from the Prospect, and thanked God for his present gracious Allotment, to which I strove not only to be reconciled, but to enjoy, with Ease and Chearfulness.

Amidst a Circle of literary and religious Friends, of refined Taste, of elegant Manners, of Rank in Life, and Affluence of Fortune, surely, have I frequently said to myself, I may be happy, if Happiness is to be found in any External Circumstances. I am beloved and caressed by such as I always wished to associate with. They are tender and affectionate, and fly to serve me in Sickness and in Health of the good things of Life, I have quite enough to prevent Care and Anxiety for the Morrow—Why not feel myself at Home? Why not be satisfied with this as my last Stage on the Road to Heaven? I have long since done with the World—Its Wealth, its Honours, its Amusements, have long appeared to me childish and ridiculous! Why launch into new Dangers, from Sea and Land, from the Uncertainty and Caprice of Men? Why seek to regain a former Happiness, by the Sacrifice of the present?

Such a Conflict as this hath frequently been encited in my Breast, betwixt my ardent Desire of returning to my Native Country, and the Prudential Thought of remaining quiet and contented here.

Thank God! All is now settled into a Perfect Calm. I feel myself resigned to continue here or return to America, as Providence may order the future Course of Events. I think it my Duty to offer my Affections to my First Love. I think it my Duty to give my Congregations an Assurance that I am willing to resume my Labours among them, if all Circumstances should conspire to render it agreeable to them and their present Rector, whom I esteem and love, and with whose Settlement I have no Wish in the least to interfere. I think it my Duty to offer my Allegiance to the State of Pennsylvania, in Case an Act of Release from the Attainder can be obtained.

In making these offers, I am ready to sacrifice present Comforts and future Prospects in this Country. I am ready to part with dear and valuable Friends, and embark with my Family once more upon the Ocean, whose Element, since my late Sufferings, appears to me more tremendous than ever. In doing this, I acquit myself of all I owe to my Family and Friends, to my Country and to myself. And upon this Ground I have written to my dear aged Father, to make such application to those in Authority, as he and my Friends together may think proper and necessary in my Behalf. To this Letter I refer you, and beg you to give him all the Assistance in your Power. Add to this, that I shall expect from you and the Rest of my Friends, a fair, candid and impartial presentation of the Temper and Disposition of my Countrymen in General with Respect to me. Conceal nothing that is true however painful it may be to me to hear. For however delighted I might be to find myself once more in the Circle of my Particular Friends and Relations, I could never think myself happy, should I be exposed to the Disrespect and Unkindness of Others.

We the Church-Wardens and Vestry-Men of the United Churches of Christ-Church and St. Peter’s Church in the City of Philadelphia, in Vestry met, beg Leave to offer our most affectionate Wishes for your safe Arrival in England. The long and intimate Affection that has subsisted between us makes us regard your Separation from us with Concern, and lament the unhappy Occasion that calls you from the Care of those Churches in which you have officiated with so much Satisfaction to the United Congregations.

Our sincere Prayers for your Welfare and speedy Return to your Native City and the Charge of the United Churches, with the Approbation of your Spiritual Superiors, which we doubt not you will meet with upon a Proper Representation of your Conduct will ever attend you.